To the hundreds of automated emails I've received over the past week urging me to complete instructor evaluations:

I have had the same fucking courses and the same fucking for the past three fucking semesters and I do not have any fucking thing new to say, except maybe about how I want to fucking kill Dr. ***** for being so fucking stupid, but I think it would be best not to include that on an evaluation. I refuse to fill them out this quarter on principal. Hit me up again next fucking December.

Thank you. I'm going to work on my cancer project now for real.